What Random Conversations do you have?

Sharon J Cole

When you’re out to dinner…

When you’re running an errand and see someone, and take a minute to chat…

When you’re taking a bit of time at work to talk with a co-worker…

When you’re at lunch…

If it’s at work, lots of times it’s about business, or work;

Otherwise, sometimes people start out with the weather…

If you talk further than the weather, what else?

My experiences are usually about random health problems, symptoms, illness experiences, types of medicines. It also includes (not enough) time, and includes stressors in our lives. Most of the talk usually slants toward the negative. I’m curious if that’s your experience too. It seems to be pretty common in places I frequent.

What would you LIKE to talk about? That’s a good question to think about.

Would you like to know what Negative Talk does to our daily lives? Do you think it affects our bodies… our minds?

What is the reason for so much negative talk over positive talk?

Why do we get sucked in when others around us start with the negative talk?

What if that negative talk changed to positive?

The truth is (according to Florida Medical Clinic) our negative inner voice, and voices we’re connected to, can have serious health consequences.

It seems that if a person has continued negative emotions, continual negative talk seeping into their brains, including anger, jealousy, sadness, hate, etc., that causes us to have a very real dissatisfaction with our life. And that dissatisfaction slips out into our conversations.

Does that help us? A resounding NO. We do need to acknowledge, and feel, and realize those emotions are there. And it helps us to talk about them. But the effects of the emotions when they cause us to leak out our negativity in general, in our daily lives, and in our conversations—that doesn’t help us, and it can cause others to “catch” that negativity. So good doesn’t come of it in any way. And the negative vibes spread and multiply some more.

Are those thought patterns easy to break? No. They’re hard to change, and in order to get rid of them, replacing them with positive thoughts, goes a long way toward breaking that pattern. We have to give it consistent effort to make that happen.

So, what value are positive thoughts? Why should we prefer them? What’s so bad about negative thinking (and negative listening)?

Science, and Psychology, if we live each day holding onto the negative thoughts, we speak it. And when we speak it, it grows within us—and within the ones around us. That negative speaking and emotions cause stress within us. We’re not made for the negative side; we’re made to grow, and flourish. And also, there’s this: Philippians 4:8 “…fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely…”

And if that stress within us goes unchecked, it grows into chronic stress. It affects all parts of our life—our behaviors, our thinking ability, and physical health.

Scientific research (according to AdvancedFunctionalMedicine.com), chronic stress, when unreleased, influences almost every system in the body. That includes the immune system, which is suppressed, and ultimately shows up in our bodies as illness.

According to those studies, other health problems related to stress seem to increase the risk of, or worsen conditions such as obesity, heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, depression asthma and gastrointestinal problems.

Everyone’s body is different and handles things differently, and everyone handles stress differently, so symptoms vary. But here are a few of the things that negative talking, followed by negative thoughts and emotions, followed up long-term into chronic stress, can cause:

Heart Disease: Negative thoughts and emotions can raise our risk of heart disease according to Dr. Will Cole (5 Ways Negative Emotions Impact our Health). Anger and hostility in particular are associated with higher risk of developing CHD (plumbed.nobility.not.nih.gov/19281923/).

Alzheimer’s Disease: Dr. Will Cole quotes pub med again to say that negative emotions quicken the development and progression of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and dementia. These emotions, along with stress, feed on itself. As Alzheimer’s impairs one’s quality of life, it creates more stress.

Unwillingness to take Meds/Supplements: The World Health Organization points to individuals not taking medication correctly or consistently as one of the leading causes of preventable mortality (ncbi.mom.nih.gov/pms/articles/PMC3575667). Negative emotions contribute to this non-adherence. This article also states that your mood and disposition can influence the effects of your prescription medication.

Diabetes: Chronic bouts of negative emotions, anger, hostility and aggressiveness can contribute to Type 2 Diabetes. A 2010 study found that individuals who scored the highest in the studies measurement of Anger had a 34% increased risk of diabetes. It also revealed that anger contributed to unhealthy lifestyle behaviors, which then lead to obesity and eventually diabetes.

Inflammatory Skin Disease: Did you know that chronic negative thoughts and stress can affect your skin too? Researchers have found that our skin has an immediate reaction to our emotions and mental stress (ncbi.not.nih.gov/pms/articles/PMC74981251). Stress definitely affects our hormones, and our hormone levels can trigger inflammation. This can take the form of rosacea, acne and even psoriasis. Tithonus treatment or intervention our emotions can land us in a vicious cycle with our skin. Healing your emotions could heal your skin.

There are many other results of continual negativity in our lives, but these give you an idea of the results that can happen. With the recent pandemic and other negative happenings around us, it’s time we realize we need to pull ourselves away from the bad thoughts and conversations, and put all our energy into going full-force into “The Realm of Positivity”!

So…Should we suppress our negative emotions? Well, it just so happens that suppressing our emotions is linked to unhealthy behavior like lack of physical activity, high consumption of alcohol, etc. So how can we reach a balance of our emotions?

Here’s where your Real Thinking comes in. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings…how much of the time you’re frustrated, or angry, or sad.

Pay attention, then try to figure out WHY…What caused it “this time”? That will get directly to the source. That’s the absolute best way if you can do that. You may want to check in with a therapist or psychologist. And there are many ways to help yourself overcome the negatives, even if you can’t figure out why it’s happening. Here are a few:

Carve out some time for things you enjoy doing. Not just once a month.

Catch up with a friend;

Go for a walk;

Dance; kitchen floors work great!

Get out in the sunlight early=improves mood, energy, mental health and sleep!

Eat. Real Food. Poor diet increases daily stresses, big and small;

Practice Gratitude; this helps the “negatives” to go away;

Deliberate Cold Exposure (cold showers, ice baths, etc); this is a bit non-conventional—exposes the body to very cold temperatures for a short period of time; is being used to improve stress response, improve health and reduce chronic pain, and increase immune system. Also improves sleep and improves mental and emotional resilience, along with increasing energy and focus.

Yoga is good, and Tai Chi to improve anxiety, depression, insomnia and PTSD.

Deep Breathing Exercises, help relieve anxiety; Meditation; improves emotions, focus and resilience.

Good, Sound Sleep. That’s when our bodies and brains heal the most; our brains detoxify. Without quality sleep, toxic plaques form in our brains. Sleep replenishes the chemicals that influence our mood, energy and focus. Guard your sleep. If you need help, I can help you. And here is a link to more information about sleep.

Cut out the Stressors… spend less time listening to negative talk from others. Catch yourself when you hear yourself speaking negativity, to others, or to yourself.

Exercise Every Day; Exercise may be work…well…it is. It requires effort and muscle, and sweat…that’s necessary to keep our bodies strong! Without it, regularly, our muscles will be weak. You’ll lose muscle balance. Do you want to feel caged-in by your own body? Good exercise and good movement are a part of life. And they’re a part of mental and physical health.

Purpose and Joy: Think about these. Come up with some things. Being around negative people blocks your dopamine activation just as much as perpetual social media/internet usage. Joy and Purpose are absolutely relevant to your mental and physical health, and to your healing.

Schedule for Yourself Regular Blocks of Quiet Time, Alone Time, through your week. Read, do Yoga, Go for a Hike…or just sit outside—maybe go to a park if you don’t have a quiet spot in nature. Sit in Silence. This is pure healing. Our bodies and minds need regular rest. Schedule it like an appointment. And Honor it. You are THAT Special and important…to be prioritized in this way.

And those conversations with friends…if you keep toxins out of your physical body and it saves you, it will help you immensely to keep toxic conversations out of your mind. You’ll have to figure out the priorities for this part. We each have this ONE Body. And ONE Mind. This ONE Life! And it goes by oh, so quickly!

We can change our little corner of the world… by making a few small changes in our lives… Let your health allow you to enjoy this one life…throughout all its seasons.

If you need me, just let me know. I don’t want to change your life…But if YOU want to Change Your Life, I want to help you!


If you would like to schedule a one-on-one session with me, just email me and let me know.  I respond to email, and I’m here and I want to help you.  Let’s create some more Calm together.


Meet Sharon

Sharon is the founder of Where is Your Calm, and is dedicated to the wellness of every client she has. She graduated from the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in 2019 and has been doing group coaching and individual coaching since then.

Sharon is a caring haven for people of all ages to address their overwhelm and overwork, helping them to improve their life with small changes in their lifestyle and nutrition habits. She regularly attends classes and training to keep up with the most innovative practices to address her clients' needs.  

If you are not on her mailing list to receive her weekly email about all things Functional Medicine and Health, Sign Up Below. And Thank You for Reading!