I didn’t ever like tests in school (I was rarely even semi-prepared).  I didn’t make very good grades, and the tests helped me get those grades.

I never really cared for school at all, truthfully.  I was ready to get “out of there”, and be a part of “real life”!

Well.  As I’m sure you know, the tests in “real life” are many! And some of them are much harder than tests in school!  I mean…we actually have to pay attention, and think!!!  We have to think about the wisest decision we could make!

Are we up for that???

Well, I continuously, my whole life, try to make wise decisions.  I don’t always make wise decisions.  But that’s my intent.

My dad used to say “common sense is worth more than anything else” and he often put emphasis on it.  Well, I wasn’t sure what common sense actually was, or how you got it.  So I concentrated on being wise. 

(That’s not to say I actually was wise.) 

So.  Life.  Real Life.

Tests?

Well, Yes.  Constant tests.

I’ll tell you my most main, hardest test.  We’re experiencing it.

I don’t know the exact reason I have a hard time with the super cold weather.  But it is the hardest test for me, every time I experience it.

Arkansas has four distinct seasons, and winters are mostly pretty mild.  We’re not used to “really cold” like zero degrees.

A whole lot of years ago, I was a single mom (don’t feel sorry for me—it was my life) for about 7 years.  During most of that time I lived in the country, and our water came from a drilled well with a pump. 

 I didn’t have any trouble keeping a fire in the fireplace all winter long, chopping pine knots for starters.  I learned lots of things about how to fix a commode, how to patch concrete, how to clear brush (over a period of time), mow, and all sorts of things.

But in the wintertime, when the weather got below about 15 degrees, I knew we were going to have some kind of problem with our water.

Usually the pump froze up; sometimes it got worse than that.  But the result was usually…no water!  That means no flushing commodes, no showers, no washing clothes, no washing dishes!  It was crippling to me.

And it was pretty much the only thing I was fearful of as I raised my daughters (my son was grown at this time).

I had a neighbor that was a wonderful man, lived about 2 miles on down our county road.  His sons were friends with my son.  There was a friend who worked with a close friend of mine that set himself to help people.  These two men were angels to me during that time.

One of them helped me with getting wood, and other miscellaneous issues.  The other one helped me many times to get water.  If he had not, I’m not sure how I would have made it.  I have considered both of these men and their sons as angels God sent to help me.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I never enjoyed the snow.  I think it meant bad news to me, and I seemed not able to enjoy it.  I didn’t realize that until I see my grown kids enjoying the snow with their families, and realize I have no desire to enjoy it.  One day I may make that my goal.

Since those years, when we have an extra hard winter, and the temperature starts getting down close to zero, I think something in me goes back to those days. 

It’s not like, just a “fear”.  It seems to go deeper than that.  I seem to get a little harder to get along with; I don’t sleep well; I’m nervous during the day instead of enjoying the snow—or anything else.

My husband, eager to help me overcome this bit of negativity, several years ago, when we had no water (during a very severe ice storm), would tell me: “We do have water; it’s just outside!”

(the reason it was outside, is because our house at that time was served by a drilled well (which was frozen), but our cattle were served by “city water” because the water main came through our property on its way to town.)

Anyway, those words didn’t help me at all.  In spite of the fact that he carried water inside religiously so that we actually had buckets and pitchers and bowls of water in the house to use.

Those really hard experiences have been at least 35 years ago.  Not every winter is exceptionally hard, but there have been plenty through all the years since.

Every single time one of those really cold spells comes, I consider it a test, and I work on my mind to not let it bother me or worry me.  I usually lose that battle. 

But this year, I made some headway.  The first day of this “arctic blast”, I was pretty much listless, a little grouchy, and not caring much if I “got things done” around the house.

I got out a puzzle, which I like to do, and began to work on it.  I cleaned myself up for the day.  I didn’t go outside—it was so bitterly cold!

The second day, I woke up feeling better; I worried a little about our office building in town but left it up to “whatever happens…”.

The third day, yesterday, I actually cooked.  I felt better.  I got to town an checked out the building—sure enough, the heat had frozen up, so our water pipes had frozen also.  Well, we’ll just have to wait until it thaws.  This is the second time it has done this, and we finally figured out exactly how to fix the problem, so next time it won’t happen.

Today, I actually fixed a nice evening meal, and we relaxed and enjoyed it.

Relaxed.  I realized today, I RELAXED.  With the threat of freezing still in the forecast for the next few days.

Could it be, Time has finally taken care of those stressful times?

Or

Could it be, that Maybe…just Maybe…

          I mastered it this time??

I guess we’ll see, the next time it happens.  But I don’t feel stressed.  I don’t feel upset.  Or Overwhelmed! I don’t feel “unsure” of what’s going to happen.  I feel like “things are okay”.  And that “I’m ok.”

I know that trauma can follow you in various ways.  I don’t know that I was in “trauma” during those days.  But maybe it was.  Regardless, life is good, and has been good for a long, long time.  And just seeing that I can relax while the temperatures have a wind chill of below zero, is a huge victory to me, whatever the original reason for the fretfulness.

I’m telling you this story in case you have had problems for a long time, or decades that you couldn’t conquer.  I want to give you hope in the future.  Hope in your future.

We have all sorts of TESTS in “real life”.  Those tests, I believe, are to help us figure out how to be stronger, and do better; maybe be a better person.

This Year has shown me, I’m better. 

I feel like a did not fail the test!  I feel like I made at least a “C”, and maybe a “B”!

If you have “recurring tests” over and over through the years…or if you’re just going through some kind of one-time test, you can get through it.  You can pass the test.  I don’t have your answer.  But I can help you find it within yourself.

Let me know if I can help you in any way.

And if it’s freezing cold in your neck of the woods, I hope it thaws soon!

To your enjoyment of your Winter Season!

Sharon