Mother’s Day!

Some people don’t have their mother on this earth anymore;

Some people for one reason or another might not have had a nurturing mother and might not have pleasant memories of their mother for whatever reasons.

So, some people are sad on “Mother’s Day”.

Life doesn’t always seem “fair”, that’s for sure.

Others seem blessed to enjoy the “storybook” type of mother and family.

Personally, I think it’s good for us to celebrate every time we can.  And I think it’s good for us to celebrate Every Person we can!

And I believe it’s always good to celebrate YOUR MOTHER (whether she’s here on earth, or in the next life).  One thing for sure—we wouldn’t have our life without our Mother and it’s good for us to Celebrate Life itself. 

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My mother loved my three sisters and myself.  She cooked for us, kept the house (and us) clean, and she taught us the importance of truth and integrity.  She also taught us to get the family together every chance (she) could.  She believed this was the way life should be.

(My husband had to adjust to what he felt was constant celebrations: almost every holiday, and ALL birthdays!)

Our home was not filled with affectionate words and hugs, etc.  That wasn’t the priority.  The focus was on being strong, and being “good”.  “Living right” seemed more of a priority, and making sure everyone was fed and taken care of—not really expressing affection.

Special things our mom would do for us was fixing our favorite Sunday dinner: (breaded) fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and home-grown corn on the cob.

After our work was done, we could invite neighbor kids over, or we could walk to their house, about a mile away on our country road.

She would let us have a sip of her beer when we had popcorn on Saturday evening.  They didn’t really “drink”, but on Saturday night they would drink a beer as the family would have popcorn and watched t.v.  I never liked the taste of beer, but I enjoyed getting a sip once in a while.

On our birthdays, we got to choose our “birthday meal” and our favorite cake;

I used to beg her to make a hickory nut cake.  She always said, I will, if you pick out the hickory nuts.  If you know anything about hickory nuts, the shell is hard—to be broken into with a hammer, and the nut meat does not come out easy.  Sometimes I would actually do it, but not very often.

I remember having a special birthday when I was 16, and we went to a (hunting) cabin that our dad was a member of, up past the Shady Mountains near Bard Springs, to spend the day on Blaylock Creek (about an hour from our home).  That was their special gift to me.

On weekends mom would usually bake something sweet, which was always good.  Blueberry pie was my favorite, made from blueberries that we picked in the woods. 

Back then we didn’t get expensive gifts or go on expensive outings, but we got good home-made meals, and on Sunday afternoons in the summer we would make home-made ice cream.

Those things were the ways our mom treated us special.  And they made us feel special.

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Years after that, it seems like the pendulum began to swing for lots of people, to parents being super affectionate to the children, even putting them on a pedestal and making them the center of attention.  If I was choosing, I’d choose how I was raised. 

There is a medium in there somewhere I’m sure, and I’m sure there are people who experienced that “medium” and were thankful for it. 

I’m very thankful for growing up in the family I grew up in, and for my mother who seemed to be the glue that held everything together and kept things going on a fairly even keel, and in the right direction. 

Our father worked hard, and made sure we worked hard, and our mom I guess helped us to enjoy it.

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Myself as a mother, my main goal from the beginning was to raise good, productive adults.  I raised my children strict, as I was raised.  I learned the hard way years later, it would have been better to focus on supporting their minds and ideas, and feelings, with more emphasis on fun instead of being so focused on them “being good”.

However my goal was achieved, probably in spite of me, but all three of my children became “good” and productive adults.  And now they’re teaching me to have fun!!

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Our job today is to love.  Love Everyone.  And Celebrate Everyone that you value in your life.  This is SO VERY IMPORTANT.

I have a lot of traits of my mother.  And so do you.  Let’s be thankful for our mothers, and love them, and celebrate them, whether they are still on this earth, or if they are not.  It does our heart good to do this.

Did you know Mother’s Day is celebrated all over the world?  It is.

Did you know that more phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year?  It is said that phone traffic spikes as much as 37%.

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Before the Civil War, Ann Reeves Jarvis of West Virginia helped start “Mother’s Day Work Clubs” to teach local women how to care for their children.  (Wow! What a Great thing that must have been!)

In 1868, she organized “Mothers’ Friendship Day” when mothers gathered with former Union and Confederate soldiers to promote reconciliation after the war.  Wouldn’t that have been awesome for those soldiers involved!                                    

In 1870, Julia Ward Howe (who also wrote The Battle Hymn of the Republic) wrote “The Mother’s Day Proclamation” asking mothers to unite in promoting world peace, and campaigned for a Mother’s Peace Day to be celebrated annually.

There was an early Christian festival known as “Mothering Sunday” as a way of honoring the sacrifices mothers made for their children, and which had its first official Mother’s Day Celebration in a Methodist Church in West Virginia.  Later it began to shift into a more secular holiday.

Mother’s Day as we know it began in 1914 when Woodrow Wilson signed the measure officially establishing the 2nd Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.  Anna Jarvis is credited with starting the holiday.

A fact that many probably do not know is that Anna Jarvis, after launching this huge undertaking of getting Mother’s Day officially established (with the help of floral shops and confectioners), later denounced the commercialization of it.

Mrs. Jarvis launched many lawsuits against groups that used the name of Mother’s Day and she eventually spent most of her personal wealth on legal fees.  By the time of her death in 1948, she had disowned the holiday altogether, and had actively lobbied the government to have it removed from the American calendar.

I do understand Mrs. Jarvis’s thinking a little bit with so much commercialism involved—as it is in many other holidays today.  However…

The holiday of Mother’s Day has survived, and is a day that we can truly feel good about celebrating.

Some never knew their real mother, or may possibly have never known their mother’s goodness.  But I think each of us has had someone in our lives that has helped us or influenced us to live a good life, and we can choose to celebrate that person.

We could also choose a young mother (or more than one) and celebrate and encourage them.

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Did you know…

1.     That strong, healthy relationships strengthen your immune system, help you recover from disease, and possibly lengthen your life?

2.     That it’s also proven that these relationships lower rates on anxiety and depression, and help you have higher self esteem, improving your quality of life?

3.     That strong, healthy relationships have a lower risk of dementia and with lower risk of obesity, inflammation and high blood pressure?  And that those things are all issues that can lead to long term health problems including heart disease, stroke, cancer, and diabetes.

4.     That even if you live a healthy lifestyle, you still need active social relationships to stay well and happy?

So.  If you feel inclined, start with your mother—if she’s here on this earth, or already gone on ahead.  Your heart will be grateful, either way.  This is a good time to start.  If you feel it is time to build your relationship bank, Start with your Mother, and spread out from there…. Connections truly matter.

So if you DO lack family connection, and if you’d like to improve your health while building some relationships, examples of how to start connections that could lead there are:

1.     Start conversations with people you see occasionally, at the gym, on your walks, in the grocery store, etc.

2.     Volunteer;

3.     Join a civic group that focuses on something you like or could support;

4.     Attend a caring church.  (If you see the people aren’t loving, I’d consider trying a different one)

5.     Just try some things and see what feels good to you—with the idea of social connection to share your time and your experiences with other people, and also listen to them.  Both your mind and your body will be rewarded.  And so will your heart.

If you want to celebrate Mother’s Day without buying gifts, your TIME is probably the most precious gift you can give.  Another gift could be preparing a meal for her (it doesn’t have to be your mother—just choose someone to honor), or baking something for her.  Or organizing a family get-together in her honor, or planning a walk, or taking her on a drive, or have some outside family activity she would enjoy.

Whatever you do, spend your time and your energy celebrating this day by building relationships.  Family Relationships.  Or Adopted-Family Relationships.  Or Friend or Mentor Relationships.  Let your heart be your guide. 

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 My mom left this earth at 99, a few short years ago.  My goal is to continue to build as she did (although I got a late start—it took me awhile to “grow up” and see the importance of binding the family together. 

It’s easy to get out of that focus especially when we get really busy, which I’ve been guilty of over the years.  But there is never a wrong time to do good.  Now could be your time to build, also.  Everyone wins.

Usually each Mother’s Day at our church, the men fix breakfast for the women, which is a lot of fun.  (And we have some men who are great cooks!). 

This year our church is giving a Celebration for Mothers, with a dinner being served by our young people.  No gifts are needed to make it a great day. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all women—because even if you aren’t a Mother, you are an Example for the children you know. 

Let’s be a good Example. 

Happy Mother’s Day! 

Thank you for reading.

Blessings for your Health…

Sharon

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