Sharon J Cole
Lots of times our paths are full of all kinds of Nasty Stuff…”unmentionables”…
Does it feel like the odds are stacked against you?
So Much to do…
So Little Energy…
Nothing goes right…
Don’t feel good…
No time to Cook Real Food…
Can’t See the Light in the Tunnel… And…Nothing Seems to Help!!!
Are You Ready for Some Help? Let’s Do It!
Step 1. Make a LIST…Tell me the Major things that bother you…that hinder you from your Life… The things you’d like to be IMPROVED the Most!
Your Over-busy schedule to be lighter?
Schedule without the pressure?
To have Energy, to do not just what you HAVE TO do, but Energy to do what you WANT TO do?
To have good rest at night, with your body and mind feeling rested the next day?
To wake up in the mornings refreshed, thinking new ideas, and planning ways to achieve them?
The Time and Energy, and “want to” to Enjoy Cooking Healthy Meals?
There are paths to get you where you want to go. You can choose your path. There will likely be some briars and other rough and tough obstacles along the way, things for you to maneuver yourself through.
There won’t be a pill to take, or a magic bullet…and sometimes family and friends could be part of the hurdle. You’ll likely be tempted to take a short cut, or turn back. The easier way will no doubt take you off your track, and back to the place you are in.
Everyone’s path has their own priorities, and Everyone has to figure out which direction their own path goes to get where they want to go. We each may have to “clear” our own path. There will be “helps” along the way, but the journey is our own to make.
That first step Sounds Hard, right? Well, I can help you search out and travel your path, but there are steps you can take yourself. These thoughts may help you.
Again, FIRST, pick the most important change you’d like to see in your life (Step 1).
I’ll be covering some specific changes many people choose, in the coming weeks, but each one will start with Step 1, and Step 2.
Step 2. Look at your Calendar. (Bear with me) See if your calendar can give you any hints.
Does your schedule give you spaces to relax for lunch? To take any breaks at all? If not…that’s a strong hint.
Those breaks could be one things to make a big difference in your overwhelm. How much would a break in the morning, AND the afternoon, take out of your day? 10-15 minutes each time? So, maximum of 30 minutes a day? Plus, if we rest while we eat, our food digests better, which makes our whole body work better…Oh… and our brain! If our bodies and brains worked better… do you think it might add some time to your day? Plus, give you a little peace to add into it?
Do your scheduled times have any space between appointments, or do you schedule things back-to-back? What if you pretended your appointment would take 15 minutes longer than it would actually take, and then GIVE YOURSELF those 15 minutes…to do with as you pleased (as long as you used it NOT pushing yourself at Working)…even PLAN what you would do with that time. Take a breath of fresh air (if possible); ask someone how they are today; just sit and breathe deeply for several breaths; call someone you love and take time to tell them hello.
It will pay you back in dividends. Spend it for something that you will enjoy or love. This one thing could be a great stride (believe it or not) toward reducing your heavy load.
And…if your appointment DID go over its allotted time, you would have a buffer so you wouldn’t feel so stressed!
Step 3. Consider thinking of some things—or even ONE thing—to ADD into your Life, that you would ENJOY doing. Or something that would give your life some peace and quiet.
Can’t think of anything?
Do you enjoy walking outside?
How about making a puzzle?
Just sitting outside?
Nothing rings a bell? Try thinking back to when you were a child, and remembering what you enjoyed back then…
Then stretch your imagination to think of something you could do now that would give you that Same Feeling.
I hope you have come up with at least one thing you would enjoy, that you could add to your life.
The hurdle here is when your “Self” tells you that’s ridiculous—that you can NOT add another thing to your life—you have sooo many things you MUST do! And there is No Time Left to Add something that doesn’t actually help pare down that list!
Well, That’s the way it Sounds! And FEELS! But the truth is, When your body—and mind—slow down…you can FEEL BETTER…and you can THINK BETTER, and Somehow you seem to get more accomplished! Without as much PUSHING!
Sounds too good, I know. So TRY it. Try it For REAL. Give it all you’ve got. My husband’s term would be, “Grab your Grit and ride like the devil’s after you, and go right through it!”
Anyway, see what happens. I believe you’ll be surprised at your success!
Step 4. After you come up with what you want to add—something enjoyable or calming—it may not feel “right” doing it. You might do it once, or twice, and it feels awkward. Or you may feel you just can’t do it. It could be that it’s just hard for you to feel right about relaxing or resting, with so much to do.
Step 5. Your goal at this point is to over-ride those thoughts. It’s the next very important step. It may take several tries. Don’t give up because it’s uncomfortable. Your success or failure could be right here in this step. You may skip a day. OK. Just don’t skip two days. Do it in some mini-form if you have to, but do it.
Be courageous. Be persistent with yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just go through the steps. You CAN win this VICTORY!
So if you’ve won this Step 5, and you’re beginning to form a habit—working toward your goal of having some “space” for you in your day for you to work toward your REAL #1 Goal of Changing what you Want to Change Most in your Life, these steps can show you, THINGS CAN CHANGE! YOU CAN DO THIS!!
I hope you can see a little bit of difference in the weight of your burden at this point.
If not, keep gently nudging yourself to keep going. It WILL happen, and you will be able to feel it at some point soon.
Keep working with your Calendar…And if I lost you with the Calendar part, don’t fight it. Keep adjusting it so you can work WITH it.
Your Calendar is for telling you the truth of where you are. You need it so you can see the Reality of your scheduling. If you’re over-stressed because of too much to do, Your Calendar is the place to find exactly where it’s happening. And it will show you how to fix it. So work with it.
An example of this would be, When I began walking every day, I made it my goal to walk in the morning so it wouldn’t be nagging me the rest of the day. Then if I had an early morning appointment, I STILL was determined to walk in the morning. But it didn’t happen, and I was stressed about it Every Time that happened.
So if I put that walk in my calendar, I can see all the things that would have to be done in that shorter time frame, and I could see the reality that everything wouldn’t fit. Some adjustments would have to be made, leaving something out, or else get up earlier to fit everything in. I guess I just thought I was Superwoman, and because I “willed it”, it would automatically happen. Anyway, the calendar is a valuable tool. It will be your good and faithful guide. And if you keep working toward Making Yourself Time, and remember to give yourself a buffer between your scheduled times, it WILL happen!
This is not accomplishing your main goal, but it is taking positive steps in that direction. And it’s big steps!
If you don’t meet your mark, absolutely don’t stress! We’ll never have a perfect calendar day. Things are apt to happen, pretty regularly. Just adjust and go on. But count those breaks as important appointments with YOU, and do not let them slide away. You Need Them!
Now, Next, pick up that main goal again. Maybe to sleep better at night (or some other goal). If you want better sleep, you need to know what helps people to sleep better? And what keeps people from sleeping at night?
If you know these things, you have now seen that you can make some small changes in your day, so you’ll know if you change some things, even small changes, you can have what you want.
Here is a link to a guide on sleep that explains in depth the problems with sleep, and ways to have good nights of rest each night.
Next week I’ll go in depth on other goals that some people choose. We’ll talk about Energy next week. More energy will actually help you FEEL like accomplishing more.
To a Better Life…
If you would like to schedule a one-on-one session with me, just email me and let me know. I respond to email, and I’m here and I want to help you. Let’s create some more Calm together.
Sharon is the founder of Where is Your Calm, and is dedicated to the wellness of every client she has. She graduated from the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in 2019 and has been doing group coaching and individual coaching since then.
Sharon is a caring haven for people of all ages to address their overwhelm and overwork, helping them to improve their life with small changes in their lifestyle and nutrition habits. She regularly attends classes and training to keep up with the most innovative practices to address her clients' needs.
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