Do you live the way you want to?

Sharon J Cole

Do you Live the Way you Want to?


We’ve talked about lots of ways to “LIVE”—and I’m just curious…Do you LIVE your LIFE the way you want to live it?


I’m not referring to what we have, but who we are


Cornered?                      Hopeless?                      Powerful?

Victorious?                    Focused?                        Haphazard?

Defeated?                      Quiet?                            Happy?

Brave?                           Fearful?                         Comfortable?

Over-used?                    "Bound”?                       Stuck?




We’ve also talked a lot about GOALS—but I’m not really thinking of Goals right now—I’m thinking day-to-day living.


A lot of us were taught to “always put others first”.  My mother used to teach us that if there was “two” cookies (or anything) left, to get the smallest one.  And if there was only “one” cookie (or anything) left, NOT to take it.  I think that’s fine advice.  Shows respect for others.  I tried to instill that into my own kids, and I do that myself, still.  It’s actually indelibly marked into my “being” and I truly don’t believe I can do anything else.


I also believe it’s good to “give of ourselves”.  The Bible teaches that, and that’s good.  And I do it.


I do think there are a few cautions that can go along with that though.

There are places along the way where we need to just pause and think —and re-think for that moment.


You may have seen people who give and give and give, until they burn out. 

Or until they wear out…

Or until they are financially spent out…

You may have done that yourself…

(I may have…)


The term “self care” is worn out.  But we do need to take care of this body and mind and (loving) heart that God blessed us with.


What if we don’t?


How useful will be be if we are totally spent out—emotionally, mentally, physically, or financially? Any one of these?


I believe the answer is very little use—Very Little Value to the ones we want to help.


**Sometimes there are seasons in our lives when we have no Choice.


But for most of us, most of the time, we’re in Control.  Or are we??  Are we Willing to be in Control—of taking care of our own bodies, minds, emotions, or our (loving) giving hearts?


In this busy world we live in, with us continually figuring out the best way to get Everything done, for Everyone… how can we “Be in Control” of our lives?

1.     Really, Truly, pay attention to yourself. 

a.      Do you get anxious a lot? 

b.     Have more frequent or more severe health issues? 

c.      Feel overwhelmed more than usual?…like feelings that you’re not in control? 

d.     Do you notice yourself frequently being at odds with those close to you? 

e.      Feel Tired—Can’t seem to get rested? 

f.       Feel like no one is “taking care of  YOU”?

2.     If you notice any of these, especially if the signs come frequently, take a closer look.  Pay closer attention to yourself.  It’s important.  Why?  Because YOU are important.  Especially to those close to you.

3.     Start looking for people/situations in your life where you spend major energy/money, etc.  Take a little time over a few days, and mentally analyze that part of your life.  It’s possible that person or situation could actually be better off if you didn’t concentrate so much energy, etc., there.  Just a thought…  But gently think about it in the back of your mind until you feel right about either leaving things as they are, or realizing a change would possibly be better—even a temporary one. 

4.     If you feel a change should happen, just decide to do it.  It won’t feel good probably, but after you’ve done it, you may enjoy a lighter, free’er feeling.  Let that (loving) heart love yourself, and let YOU  be your Guide.

5.     If you genuinely and honestly feel you want to leave the situation as it is, think of ways to tweak the way you’re serving here, so you will be spending less energy/money, etc. in this direction.  I firmly believe we have a lot of brainpower we don’t take advantage of (if that sounds like the voice of experience… it is. lol)  I believe God sometimes allows us to be in positions we have to “think” or “figure” our path, to make it smoother, and cleared of briars and stumbling blocks.  I think we don’t use our brains near enough, and these challenges give us opportunity to exercise that part of us that we sometimes let get dormant and weak.

6.     Build a little space in your calendar every day to sit where it’s comfortable, and where it’s quiet.  Concentrate on the sounds, the clouds, or just your breathing.  And just be still with yourself.  This alone can help you get into a better place.

7.     Have you tried meditation? Don’t count it out.  It truly can help you focus better on moving your life forward in a good and smooth direction.  It can help you feel more in control and help you get your “life” back.  Just 10-15 minutes every day can absolutely change your frame of mind.  If you’re interested, you might try one of the apps that can guide you through it, Calm, Headspace, Soultime (Christian).  To actually be taught how to meditate, there is a class online, that is good.  (There are all kinds of ways to meditate—you probably can’t do it wrong.)

8.     Then of course, to be in control of your life, you can think and feel so much better if your body is healthy and strong.  So after you’ve worked on the stumbling blocks, there are the old fashioned pillars of health can help along with those.

a.      Sleep (if you need help, here is the link to my article about its importance, and how to get more of it)

b.     Eating good quality food (as opposed to the Standard American Diet —junk food)

c.      Making sure your body gets some good movement every day (our bodies were made to move—it’s worthy of priority)

d.     Just sit and be still (relax) for a bit each day (it’s also worthy of priority).


If you do these things, you can actually live your life the way you want to.  Perfect? No, but you can feel the freedom to live in your own skin and be comfortable with who you are, and with the decisions YOU make.


There’s one more thing while we’re on this topic.


If you feel a certain way in your heart and mind—or if you make a certain decision…and people around you think differently…be courageous and don’t let that sway your thinking.  Be wise… listen.  But weigh it in your heart.  Know your true feelings.  If you ever feel pressure not to think the way you do, weigh it—think it through.  KNOW how You feel.  And keep your truth.


(If you are actually perplexed and can’t know what direction to think, by all means, ask someone you consider to be wise.  Then weigh the advice you get, against your heart.)


We truly come up with all kids of excuses of why our life rolls over us.


If we let God, He gives us our own ideas, and those ideas were for the most part meant to serve us.  He truly gave us the brainpower and heart power to know our own truth.  And that truth can stand the pressure if we let it.


That certainly doesn’t mean we’re always Right (again, from someone who knows!)  But once you know for certain how you believe, Go Forward Bravely along that path that you may have to clear for yourself.


Overwork and over-stress can have sad results in the long run—if your spouse only gets your left-over attention, your children don’t get your best you, your spiritual life may not be fed properly—anywhere your attention needs to be and it’s not there, it usually causes a weak link in that part of your life.  So. Do Life the way you Decide is Right, and in all likelihood it will be exactly what is right.


We’ll never be perfect.  And if there are problems in your life, it doesn’t mean you don’t “live right”.


But we can be in Control of our lives, depending on God’s Grace and Wisdom. 


Let’s live this life as the person we want to be


I choose to live Courageously and Fully.


To Your Health… and To Your Life!



Meet Sharon

Sharon is the founder of Where is Your Calm, and is dedicated to the wellness of every client she has. She graduated from the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in 2019 and has been doing group coaching and individual coaching since then.

Sharon is a caring haven for people of all ages to address their overwhelm and overwork, helping them to improve their life with small changes in their lifestyle and nutrition habits. She regularly attends classes and training to keep up with the most innovative practices to address her clients' needs.  

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