Relationships.  Do we need them?

Did you ever feel like a loner…just want to be by yourself?  I have.  I’ve always liked people, but I also considered myself to be just as content by myself.  But I guess I knew I actually did have family that was there for me, even though I was “by myself”.

The world seems topsy turvy right now, and there seems to be a lot of people who just stay away from people now, intentionally.

So, the Question is, Are Relationships Important? Do we Really need other people in our lives?

Betterhealth.gov says strong, healthy relationships strengthen our immune system, help us recover from disease, and lengthen our lives…

          And that there are proven links to lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, and greater empathy for others.

Northwestern Medicine (nm.org) says relationships contribute to:

1.     Less stress

2.     Better healing

3.     Healthier behaviors

4.     Greater sense of purpose

5.     Longer life

Healthdirect.gov.au says:

People who have healthy relationships are more likely to be healthier and more satisfied with their lives.

National Institute of Health (ncbi.nim.nih.gov) says:

Social ties influence healthy behavior.

Mayo Clinic Health System (mayoclinichealthsystem.org) says:

Positive relationships can be as important to your health and well being as nutrition and physical activity.

Psychalive.org says:

Good relationships help people live longer, deal with stress better, and have healthier habits.

AccendaHealth.org says:

Healthy relationships encourage our personal growth, add meaning to our lives, decrease stress and help us have a longer life.

Institute of Functional Medicine (IFM.org) says:

Relationships are a public health priority, especially when depression is involved.

American Journal of Psychiatry researchers have found that:

Confiding in others and visiting with family and friends was the strongest protective factor for depression, and recommends building relationships and social connections as part of treatment strategy, alleviating overall stress along with reinforcing good self-care practices.

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Relationships are SO powerful!  Yet, we don’t always appreciate them.

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Personally, I think…good relationships just make you feel good!

And I like that!  It lifts my spirit, and gives me joy, and energy!

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So, do you have good relationships?

What if you don’t…What then?

How would you go about improving that situation?

Relations are built on these foundations:

Respect, Trust, Open & Honest Communication, and Genuine Care.

To build or nurture a relationship, I wonder how it would be if you just got still… and quiet… and

1.     spent some time with yourself, appreciating ourself, finding out how you feel, and what you would truly like in your life…

2.     Smile at people. Do Nice Things.  Say nice things to people.  Enjoy the people. Love them. (Like them too, when you can)

3.     Figure out where you want your boundaries, for your own personal space.  (Like protecting anything infringing on your personal space or time set aside for yourself)

4.     Feel fine about holding onto that personal space for yourself, and tactfully help other people respect that. (If you respect that space for yourself, others will accept it)

5.     Talk to people.  You’ll probably enjoy it.  They’ll love you for it.  It helps you to genuinely care about them.  Oh…and also, Listen.  Active listening is a skill.  You can learn it. (At lunch, we struck up a conversation with our waitress (we did not know her).  We learned about her life—she loved us for it—and she loved that we cared enough to “see” her for who she is.

6.     Reflect.  Here’s that “time for yourself” again.  This time helps you live a fuller life.  And you learn about yourself and begin to feel more comfortable with yourself, and you like yourself.

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What if you have broken relationships…possibly your life would be happier if you tried to fix it? (Believe me, I’m totally aware one person alone can’t fix a relationship by themselves, but sometimes if one person opens the way…). Good things are possible.

There are people “alone” and lonely, but being in a toxic relationship or being in constant conflict, is probably more damaging than being alone.  Continuously being in conflict would be similar in my mine to being exposed to toxins in your life. 

It’s truly worth your time and energy to attempt to restore the relationship if you can.  Failing to do so would be like ignoring the impact of obesity or smoking on your health and well being.

I am truly not advocating for a reason to leave a relationship—of any kind, without genuinely trying to remedy it.  If there is any way you can salvage or repair and grow what once was valuable, I would strongly suggest that as a top priority.

If you’d like to work on the relationship, it’s just possible you could save it.  If you’re not successful, you will know ou have done your best.  And it could very possibly work, then everyone would be blessed.

How could a relationship be improved?

1.     Think on that relationship.  Think of it as a priority.

2.     Think of the ways you care; and think of ways to show you care.

3.     Don’t expect a certain response.  Drop all expectations.  (As a matter of fact, that’s pretty much my personal motto with everyone)

4.     Say Thank You.

What fractures relationships, anyway?

I’ve read many times that lack of communication is the number one cause.  I never actually knew what that meant, really.  I guess we just need to let the other person know how we feel (NOT while you’re upset), and vice versa.

I think after a time, we sometimes take our close friends, or significant other, for granted—like we notice the things that irritate us, and we forget to notice the things we appreciate and things we’re thankful for in that person.

I think disrespect and resentment sometimes grow out of that.  In general, I believe we need to give priority to our close relationships so those relationships will continue to grow; and that we really think about how we can add joy and/or fun into our relationships.

Also, holidays are sometimes hard on family relationships, for one reason or another.  If that is the case, if it is a relative or friend that is “hard to love” but you know you’ll be around them, I suggest to follow the line of… Be Nice.  And Expect Nothing.  Enjoy the people that you can enjoy, and let them enjoy your company.

During Covid, some people lost relationships with some friends.  I think some of that still lingers.  Even in a time of recommended physical distancing, social support and healthy connections with people still need to be a priority.  It is essential for good immune health, and mental health and well being.

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Mental Health Foundation (Mentalhealth.org.uk) says:

It’s the quality of our relationships that makes the main difference.  “As individuals, and as a society, I believe it is urgent that we prioritize investing in building and keeping good relationships.  If there are barriers along the way, I suggest we tackle those.”

Investing.  Investing in Building.  Building Relationships.  With Urgency.

So.

Let’s love each other; let’s learn to be better “neighbors”, and to easily show we care.  Let’s thrive—together.  Let’s help make our world—and someone else’s—a better one!

Thank you for reading!

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