Sharon J Cole
DO YOU DO THINGS YOU FEAR?
HOW OFTEN DO YOU DO SOMETHING YOU’RE AFRAID TO DO?
What kinds of things are you afraid to do?
Things that have to do with your work?
Things that have to do with building your business?
Courage to make some changes to your body?
Learning something new?
Feeling led to do something new but don’t feel “ready”?
Fear of speaking to a group?
How does it make you feel when that big horrific thing is out in front of you (or tucked neatly in the back of your brain), and you are fearful of doing it? So you don’t do it…
How long have you been doing this about a particular thing you want?
Some people just keep that feeling neatly tucked away…
Some people get “distracted” in other areas, taking up all extra time…
Some people take classes, or courses (in related areas)…
Some people work extra hard and long, and “don’t have time” to go forward toward their fear…
Some people change their priorities and “go around the fear” to do other things—near to what you really want…
Do you have that fear?
What do you do with it?
Some people face their fear, try to educate themselves on ways to go forward in the direction of their fear, and eventually they’re able take a step in the right direction, and because of that are able to step right through the fear as if it wasn’t there. I think this is the best. Results may not come instantly, but as you trudge toward your goal, you eventually get there.
I, myself, have been wanting to do an online coaching class for a long time. I’ve been very fearful of being on video.
I’ve taken extra courses (related courses—not video courses), joined extra groups (related groups), done extra work in different areas, coached more in person, all while “waiting” for my courage to rise to the occasion of actually getting in front of a camera and doing the video! I wonder what I thought would happen to push that courage to rise…
Regardless of what you have a fear of, the best way to go is forward, toward the thing you fear. Yes. Absolutely. So much easier said than done, isn’t it.
I think one thing I’ve discovered is that if I “prepare myself”—actually “get ready” to “look good” on camera, making sure makeup is just right, hair just right, etc., I seemed to be more nervous trying to get the job done. Very Nervous. I’d actually find a reason I couldn’t do it.
This week I did two things related to this.
I had a group coaching class that had some absentees, and they wondered about being updated with information we covered. So I considered making a video, recording myself going over the information from the class, for the ones who weren’t able to attend in person.
I decided not to make a big deal of it, to just try it and see how it turned out since I hadn’t told them I’d have it for them. I decided I wouldn’t try to make it really polished, but just to “do it” for them to have the information so they’d be more up-to-speed for the next sessions.
I planned to do it on the next day in my office downtown where there’s natural light. Well, I didn’t have any appointments at the office that next day, and when the next day came, thought… “I could just stay home today…but I really want to get that video recorded for these people. OK. Lighting’s not the best at home; not a very good background where I’ll be sitting… Well, it’s the information I need for them, not how great it looks… I’ll just go ahead and do it at home. It probably won’t be as good, but it will be done.”
So I DID put on a little bit of makeup. Simple clothes. I began having glitches with my new iPad (which I much prefer to use the iPad), so I hooked up my phone for recording. Oh well. Won’t be perfect… but It will be done. And I recorded it. Not totally spur of the moment, but pretty much. I just stepped into “reality” instead of made-up fears, and I did it! To my amazement, it wasn’t terrible. But I did a lot of looking-down at my notes, so I quickly re-did it, not looking down as much. It still wasn’t terrible. It lacks a lot being perfect…but it showed me…I could do it! I didn’t have time to get nervous.
Then, as the universe would have it, I got a notification of an Online Free 3-day Camera Confidence Challenge. You know…sometimes, we just need to step out there… in faith! And exactly what we need comes up. I joined the Challenge. And I absolutely learned a LOT!
I learned I couldn’t just “say the words”—I had to have Energy in my voice, and in my face. I learned about lighting, and the difference it makes in how we look on video. I learned that the tilt of the camera and the angle it’s coming from, make a difference in how the video looks.
So, learning helped me actually do a video for my “homework” in the Challenge, and even though I was so nervous I was exhausted when I was done, but I not only did it, I got compliments on it from other group members.
It was a huge hurdle I didn’t know if I would ever climb over. And through some specific education that was exactly what I needed, and through my first video that showed me I could actually do it if I would relax, I was able to accomplish a goal of actually recording myself on video. The homework was to record a 15-20-second “elevator pitch” of what I do.
Will I still be afraid when I begin to actually record a class? Yes, I’m sure I will. But I will have two different types of videos behind me that I wasn’t sure I’d ever have. And I will be able to build on those victories.
So this is just to say, if you are fearful… of anything… And I do know there are lots of things to be fearful of today… I hope your fears are not based on world conditions, or politics, or the many things that are happening in our world right now, but that you can reach out and reach into yourself, and know you can overcome those fears, and just trample all over them on your way to stepping over… or jumping over your hurdles, and be on your way to the peace and calm that you want along the way.
The longer you stay in the spot of reflecting on what you “can’t” do, and feeling the fear, and the anxiousness of it, the stronger those feelings will get, and the more intense they will take hold. When we’re “down”, it’s harder to think about positive things, and when we neglect thinking about positive things, it’s harder to go forward. It’s like the hard things reflect back into our lives and keep us stalled.
Fear derails our growing. It stifles our life. Those “world things”, we can’t control. But one thing we can control is our mind and heart. We can control a lot of our life. Go for what you want to do. Don’t let fear and roadblocks stop you. Know where you want to go… and Keep moving forward, no matter what, and no matter how fast or slow you go.
Let’s Grow, and feel Encouraged that we can Overcome. We can open up a way, where we didn’t see a way before. Let’s go Forward, toward where we want to go. Let’s pull ourselves up above our anxiousness, and do the things we were meant to do.
My hope is that you put less worry into yourself being perfect— we’ll never make that grade. If what you want to do calls for more education or training of some kind, my hope is that you seek it out, and learn more from people who know what you want to know. My hope is that you will just take that one step over that line of fear, and DO THAT THING. It is probably a small step…a simple step…that we puts a looming shadow over us so we see it as bigger than it is. Let’s Do That Thing that you Fear.
You will be so happy you did, and you can then easily go forward—well, that is until the Next Challenge—which you can hopefully meet more easily because of this upcoming Victory!
So Take the Risk… Step Forward…and Enjoy Your Journey.
Thank you for reading… and
See you Next Time!
Sharon is the founder of Where is Your Calm, and is dedicated to the wellness of every client she has. She graduated from the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in 2019 and has been doing group coaching and individual coaching since then.
Sharon is a caring haven for people of all ages to address their overwhelm and overwork, helping them to improve their life with small changes in their lifestyle and nutrition habits. She regularly attends classes and training to keep up with the most innovative practices to address her clients' needs.
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