Lots of people say, they don’t care what people think.  I’ve said that myself at times. 

Sometimes, I really don’t care.  But I think deep down, we do have the feeling that we’d like for people to think we’re ok.  Or maybe even extra good—at something.

I think we’d really actually like for people to think we’ve come up with a good idea once in a while, or that we truly “cared” about others.  Or that we had some kind of special ability.

When you see people in their pajamas in Walmart, or a similar sight, do you wonder why they thought that was ok?

I think sometimes people aren’t taught how to act in public…like—what’s “normal”.  But then when you really think about it, what is normal?? 

Who is Normal, anyway?!  It used to be NOT normal to wear pajamas outside of your home—at least I thought that. 🥰

To me, it seems a sign of respect to be dressed respectfully.  Respect of yourself.  And of others too.  But obviously to some people it doesn’t seem to matter at all.

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I wonder … if a person was brought up being respected as an individual in the home, and taught to respect others… I wonder if that is what makes the difference.

I wonder … if a child was criticized a lot, growing up, maybe berated some…or a lot… I wonder if enough of that would destroy the child’s self confidence to the point that they would not feel they were of value enough to do their best… for others, or even themselves.

I heard a preacher say once many years ago, that people should wear their best to church on Sunday.  That old, worn-out overalls were fine—just so whatever you wore was the best—because you were “coming to God’s house”.

Thinking of that now, it still makes me think back to respect. 

Probably we have to respect ourselves before we can really respect others.

If that is so, how does it come about for us to “respect ourselves”?

So, I do believe self-respect has something to do with it.

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When I was growing up, back in the day, I and my sisters were taught we BETTER respect our parents, other people’s parents, neighbors, teachers, police, etc.

We were taught to respect the privacy of our home, and the goings’ on there.  Probably because I always wanted to tell Everything, to Everybody.

(I wasn’t supposed to put on the “Show and Tell” blackboard, Everything that went on at our house! 😂)

And again, I do think that’s part of it—learning to respect.

But what if someone was truly taught to respect, but later on in years, lived what some of us would describe as a slovenly life, with no personal pride.

I wonder if some people have been down on their luck, and that it just so happened they stayed down on their luck for a Long Time.  Longer than they could have ever imagined.

And if you could think to compare that to someone drowning in the water, and they came back up “for the last time”, and there was no-one there holding out their hand to help—and no-one yelling, “Keep going! You can make it!  You CAN do it!”

So I wonder if those people, down on their luck for longer than they could have ever imagined, just give up … on themselves, and on the people around them.

Then probably they would just exist from day to day, not thinking to do something to give themselves some enjoyment in life, and not thinking they might be able to imagine a way to improve, and not even imagining that they could actually come up with a goal for themselves.

Because they just might feel that they would be disappointed again, or discouraged by someone again, or judged and criticized again—so they just gave up.  Maybe gave up on trying to please anyone, even themselves.

And sometimes, I believe when we spend our lives trying only to please others, we can be vulnerable to this very thing.   As an adult, for sure this can be devastating. 

As a child, children typically do try to please their parents.  When the parents are never pleased… well, it’s back to the kids losing hope.  Devastating to the child, and Possibly their future.

These are just thoughts, but it brought a few things to mind for me.

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 One, we always must know, it’s never too late for things to be different.  Sometimes I think that fact is almost impossible for some people to grasp.  But it’s the absolute truth, and we truly must believe it.

Another thing, we truly can’t always depend on people.  That’s another thing we truly must believe.  So does that mean we can’t trust anyone when times are hard?

Well.  There is a God.  The God of this universe.  He does see the suffering.  He knows exactly what’s happening.  He has a plan for the end of it.  And when we’re in the midst of the suffering, another thing we truly must believe, is that He’s with us.  He feels us suffering.  He hurts with us.  And we need to Trust Him, and Hold on.

Trust is the key.  We are here to help each other, but people don’t always live up to that.  Sometimes they don’t help when they should, and could.

But God Always Sees. 

And He’s ready for us to look up, and ask Him for His help.

Lots of people aren’t taught this anymore, either. 

But that doesn’t change the fact.  It’s the absolute truth.

It’s up to us to ASK HIM to forgive us.

It’s up to us to ASK HIM for help.

It’s up to us to TRUST HIM to help us.  Remembering He does sometimes work in mysterious ways.  And not on our time schedule.

And another thing we absolutely must believe, is that we truly can change our lives for the better.  We can improve our lives.  We can live Victorious Lives.

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So based on these thoughts, I’ve come up with some things that can help the people we know, can help people we don’t know, and can help ourselves at the same time.  With the help of a ripple effect, it could help a whole lot of people.

1.     If you see someone who is having a hard time—in any way, think of some way to help them.  Do you realize that some people get down-and-out, and when they’re “out and about”, no one acknowledges even their presence.

a.       Sometimes just acknowledging someone—looking them in the eye— and giving them a smile, may be the thing that helps get them through the day.

2.     The next time you see someone dressed what we might consider crazy, or any kind of (safe) weird, challenge yourself to show them respect. 

a.      If you’ve never done this, I’d actually like to dare you to do it.  You don’t have to do any kind of big thing.  Just smile, or show them respect in some way.

3.     If you know of someone who has a need, even if it’s just a bit of encouragement, do what you feel you should do.

a.      Think about what you could do

b.     Send a card

c.      Make them something and deliver it or send it to them

d.     Connect with that person in some way.  People need connection.

4.     Know your own boundaries, and don’t “give out” more than you have to give. 

a.      You’re important too, and you can’t help others if you don’t take care of yourself. 

b.     Know where you need your boundaries to be, and don’t over-step that line with your giving, or any other areas.

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So, what do people think of you?

I guess it truly doesn’t matter in a way.

It’s what you think of yourself that matters to the core.  What others think comes after that.

We need to do the things that it takes for us to know that we are worthy of the blessings of each day that we’re given.

This will help us know that we’re “enough”, so we can spend ourselves on others, and help them rise. 

In the process we will rise as well.  And we’ll Grow.  And we’ll be able to do more, be more, love more, help more, and grow more.

This is life’s journey we’re on.

Let’s do the best we can.  And learn to believe in ourselves, that God placed us here for a REAL reason.  If we can’t seem to uncover a specific “reason”, then it’s up to us to LIVE OUR VERY BEST until that “reason” shines out to us.

As an Afterthought:

You might also decide a standard for yourself on how you want to be seen when you go out.

Do you want to be seen (and known) for looking neat?  If so, that means you need to keep up with good habits at home that help this to happen. 

You don’t have to want to look totally neat.  Just whatever you decide, set yourself a standard, and see if you’re happy with it.  If you are, stick to it.  And be known for it.  Sort-of your personal brand, and you don’t even need a brand to do it.

And you might want to think of how people see your facial expressions.  Think about how you want people to see you—what you want to be known for.  Your personal brand could even be your smile.  Or however. you want people to see you.

Also blended in with how you want to look, is how people see you treating people.  You’ll be known in that way too.  Set your own standard, and try it out.  If you like it, stick to it.

Just make sure you’re pleased with your own standards, and if they fit you, after that, yeah, I don’t think it matters what anyone else thinks.

(I will add, those standards should be positive ones.  It’s good for all of us to raise our own standards from time to time.)

So, we don’t have to worry about “what others think of us”, but we should be totally aware of “how we seem to be”. 

People are going to think good or bad about us, regardless of how we look or act.  But it’s up to us to be aware of how we actually are, and if we like ourselves that way or not.  And if we like how we seem to others.  It’s up to us.

I hope this helps us all to think of how to live better, and help others to live better.  And I hope “the ripple effect” grows the good stuff, and carries it to far corners.

Thank you for reading!

Sharon