When you’re out to dinner…

What do you talk about?

When you’re running an errand and see someone, and take a minute to chat…

When you’re taking a bit of time at work to talk with a co-worker…

When you’re at lunch…

          What do you talk about?

If it’s at work, lots of times it’s about business, or just about work;

Otherwise, sometimes people start out with the weather…

If you talk further than the weather, what else?

My experiences usually include hearing about random health problems, symptoms, illness experiences, types of medicines.  Not related to my health coaching, but just general conversation in a small group. 

The conversations also sometimes include (not enough) time, and usually include the stressors that are currently happening in people’s lives.

Most of the talk I hear usually slants toward the negative. I’m curious if that’s your experience too. It seems to be pretty common to me.

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What would you LIKE to talk about?

Or better yet, what would you like to listen about?

That’s a good question to think about.

Would you like to know what Negative Talk does to our daily lives?

Do you think it affects our bodies… our minds?

What is the reason for so much negative talk over positive talk?

Why do we get sucked in when others around us start with the negative talk?

I wonder what difference it would make if that negative talk changed to positive?

The truth is (according to Florida Medical Clinic) our negative inner voice, and voices of people we’re connected to, can have serious health consequences.

It seems that if a person has continued negative emotions, and continual negative talk seeping into their brains (even from others’ conversations), it can have an effect on us, including causing anger, jealousy, sadness, hate, etc., giving us opportunity to have a very real dissatisfaction with our life.

That dissatisfaction slips out into our own conversations.  It also slips into our bodies…

Does any of that help us? A resounding NO.

We do need to acknowledge, and feel, and realize those emotions are there.  And it helps us to talk about them—but be careful how you speak… when our negativity leaks out of us, in our daily lives, and in our general conversations… that doesn’t help us… it hurts us … and it can cause others to “catch” that negativity. 

Then the negative vibes spread and multiply more.

(We’ll touch on the physical results shortly.)

Are those negative thought patterns easy to break?  No.

They’re hard to change, and in order to get rid of them, replacing them with positive thoughts and positive words to others goes a long way toward breaking that pattern. We have to give it consistent effort to make that happen.

What’s so bad about negative thinking (and negative listening)?  And what value are positive thoughts?  Why should we prefer them?

Science and Psychology say if we live each day holding onto the negative thoughts, we speak it. And when we speak it, it grows within us—and within the ones around us. That negative speaking and emotions cause stress within us.

So, why should we care about negative conversations and thoughts?

We’re not made for the negative side; we’re made to grow, and flourish.

And also, there’s this: Philippians 4:8 “…fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely…”

And if that stress within us goes unchecked, it grows into chronic stress. It affects all parts of our life—our behaviors, our thinking ability, and physical health.

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Scientific research, shows that chronic stress, when unreleased, influences almost every system in the body. That includes the immune system, which is suppressed, and ultimately shows up in our bodies as illness.

According to those studies, other health problems related to stress seem to increase the risk of, or worsen conditions such as obesity, heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, depression asthma and gastrointestinal problems.

Everyone’s body is different and handles things differently, and everyone handles stress differently, so symptoms and illnesses vary. But here are a few of the things that negative talking, followed by negative thoughts and emotions, followed by long-term into chronic stress, can cause:

Heart Disease: Negative thoughts and emotions can raise our risk of heart disease according to Dr. Will Cole (5 Ways Negative Emotions Impact our Health). Anger and hostility in particular are associated with higher risk of developing Coronary Heart Disease.

Alzheimer’s Disease: Dr. Will Cole quotes pub med again to say that negative emotions quicken the development and progression of neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and dementia. These emotions, along with stress, feed on itself. As Alzheimer’s impairs one’s quality of life, it creates more stress.

Diabetes: Chronic bouts of negative emotions, anger, hostility and aggressiveness can contribute to Type 2 Diabetes. A 2010 study found that individuals who scored the highest in the study’s measurement of Anger had a 34% increased risk of diabetes.

It also revealed that anger contributed to unhealthy lifestyle behaviors, which then lead to obesity and eventually diabetes.

Inflammatory Skin Disease: Did you know that chronic negative thoughts and stress can affect your skin too?

Stress definitely affects our hormones, and our hormone levels can trigger inflammation. This can also take the form of rosacea, acne and even psoriasis or other skin conditions.

Without treatment or intervention our emotions can land us in a vicious cycle, not only with the other illnesses, but also with our skin.

Researchers have found that our skin has an immediate reaction to our emotions and mental stress.

Healing your emotions can heal your skin.

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There are many other results of continual negativity in our lives, but these give you an idea of the results that can happen.

With the recent pandemic and other negative happenings around us, it’s past time we realize we need to pull ourselves away from the bad thoughts and conversations, and put all our energy into going full-force into “The Realm of Positivity”!

So…Should we suppress our negative emotions? Well, it just so happens that suppressing our emotions is linked to unhealthy behaviors similar to:

lack of physical activity,

high consumption of alcohol, with

feelings of inadequacy, etc.

So how can we reach a balance of our emotions?

Here’s where your Real Thinking comes in.

Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings… how much of the time you’re frustrated, or angry, or sad.

Pay attention to the people around you, and how they talk—how much of their conversations are good, or not-so-good.

Pay attention to how you feel, then try to figure out WHY…

What caused it “this time”?

That will get you directly to the source. That’s the absolute best way to change, if you can do that.

(You can do it…)

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There are many ways to help yourself overcome the negatives, even if you can’t figure out why it’s happening.

Here are a few:

Carve out some time for things you enjoy doing. Not just once a month.

Catch up with a friend;

Go for a walk;

Dance; kitchen floors work great!

Get out in the sunlight early=improves mood, energy, mental health and sleep!

Eat. Real Food. Poor diet increases daily stresses, big and small;

Practice Gratitude; this helps the “negatives” to go away;

Deliberate Cold Exposure (cold showers, ice baths, etc); this is a bit non-conventional—exposes the body to very cold temperatures for a short period of time; it is being used to improve stress response, improve health, reduce chronic pain, and increase your immune system.

It also improves sleep and improves mental and emotional resilience, along with increasing energy and focus.

I haven’t tried this … yet.  If you have, I’d love to hear your experience with it!

Yoga is good, and Tai Chi to improve anxiety, depression, insomnia and PTSD.

Deep Breathing Exercises, help relieve anxiety; Meditation; improves emotions, focus and resilience.

Good, Sound Sleep. That’s when our bodies and brains heal the most; our brains detoxify. Without quality sleep, toxic plaques form in our brains. Sleep also replenishes the chemicals that influence our mood, energy and focus. Guard your sleep. If you need help, I can help you with this.

Cut out the Stressors… spend less time listening to negative talk from others. Catch yourself when you hear yourself speaking negativity, to others, or to yourself.

          Catch yourself when you hear others speaking negatively.  You can practice changing the subject.  You can actually get really good at it, too, and everyone around you will probably feel better!

Exercise Every Day; Exercise may be work…well…it is. It requires effort and muscle, and sweat…that’s necessary to keep our bodies strong! Without it (done regularly), our muscles will be weak. You’ll lose muscle balance. 

Good exercise and good movement are a part of life. And they’re a part of mental and physical health.

Purpose and Joy: Think about these. Come up with some things. Being around negative people blocks your dopamine activation just as much as perpetual social media/internet usage. Joy and Purpose are absolutely relevant to your mental and physical health, and to your healing.

Schedule for Yourself Regular Blocks of Quiet Time, Alone Time, through your week. Read, do Yoga, Go for a Hike…or just sit outside—maybe go to a park if you don’t have a quiet spot in nature. Sit in Silence. This is pure healing.

Our bodies and minds need regular rest. Schedule it like an appointment. And Honor it.  You are THAT Special and important…

Use this to prioritize yourself.

No need to even consider making all these changes.  But pick one or two.  And dedicate yourself to making those changes.  Then when you’ve changed a habit, pick another one.  Before you know it, your life will be better.

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If you keep actual chemical toxins out of your physical body and it saves you, it will also help you in the same way to keep toxic conversations out of your mind.   You’ll have to figure out your own priorities for this part.

We each have this ONE Body. And ONE Mind. This ONE Life! And it goes by oh, so quickly!

We can change our little corner of the world… by making a few small changes in our lives…and in so doing, we can help ourselves and others have better lives…  

Let your health allow you to enjoy this one life…throughout all its seasons.

If you need me, just let me know.

I don’t want to change your life…But if YOU want to Change Your Life, I want to help you!

Thank you for reading!

Sharon

I am planning a 2-hour in-person group coaching session on Saturday, July 19.  The cost is $50; it includes healthy snacks.  I’ll be sending more information on it.

If you would like to schedule a one-on-one session with me, just email me and let me know.  I respond to email, and I’m here and I want to help you.  Let’s work together to create more life in your life!