Yes, we should appreciate mothers.  And we do.

What a Blessing when we are able to be mothers!

Ahhh, the joys of motherhood! 

What does “motherhood” mean?

I believe motherhood can change us to be more resilient; and have sort-of a focused strength. 

I believe there is an automatic bond between the mother and baby, even if the mother is not the physical birth mother.

I think raising children gives you a deep sense of purpose…

It’s easy to be proud of their growth… and how quickly they develop (regardless of how quickly they develop!)

          And I believe this continues as they get older!

We learn to give from ourselves… My “shopping” always consisted of buying for them; (I’d totally forget all about shopping for myself)

I think it’s a mom’s responsibility to teach her children about Jesus’s love, to teach kindness and respect.  In doing so, I believe those values will multiply and will grow blessings over the years.

This Mother’s Day, I think it would be a great idea to think on your blessings of your children.

Even so, I surely don’t want to leave off appreciation for my own mother, as she taught me to be strong, resilient, and love and care for my family.  But today, I’d like to focus on our children.

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My parents… were very strict with discipline (well, my dad, especially).  I was determined to raise my children (especially my son—my firstborn) to be pretty-much perfect, so I carried on with the strict discipline. 

When my son was born, I felt the greatest love in my heart and soul that I did not even know was possible.  He was my angel, and I called him that a lot when he was an infant.

It seems that some children are sweet and calm, and well-behaved; some are not so much.  And the sweet, calm children, can in later years make a distinct change and seemingly try to make us crazy. 

We hopefully learn from this, how to do that “crazy” well.  That was my challenge.  I didn’t always pass that test!

We soon forget those calls in the middle of the day with the desperate need for the schoolwork (or something else) left at home, the sleepless nights, the time spent with earaches. 

We tend to forget the stresses of the drinking of shampoo, crayon drawings in the wrong places… and so many other things that our “Mr. Nobody” was constantly guilty of. 

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Our lives as moms are chaotic and crazy at times, to say the least.  I’ll admit it was a huge challenge for me to keep my stress down during those years.

My son wanted live t.v. in his room instead of his tv that could only be used with his Atari (not connected to the tv antenna).  His room was directly behind the living room with the family t.v. (Which WAS connected to the tv antenna)

I’ll have to confess, when he was so proud one day to have a tv in his room (after he drilled a hole in his hardwood floor and pulled an antenna wire from under our house, up into his bedroom to his tv), it wasn’t a happy time.

I didn’t think at all about giving him any encouraging words like how proud I was of his ingenuity.  (Really, it would have been good to recognize that he was pretty smart to get that accomplished—but that didn’t happen.)

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Our children should always know they are loved.  That is something I would recommend your Number 1 Focus be on.

When you are meticulously strict with your children, I don’t believe that Love always shines through. 

None of us are perfect parents, and we can easily look back at our time raising our children and see our flaws… judge ourselves…  (we could’ve done better…)

But the fact is, those times are gone.  Our hearts were in the right spot.  And even when our children don’t realize that, and if they don’t show their love for us, they do love us. 

If they never allow themselves to show us… they still do love us.  That connection is there.  God put it there.  Believe it.

If you don’t see, or feel, that love… that’s ok.  Trust God, and Trust Your Child.  In spite of everything.  There could be a whole lot of reasons they don’t want to show it.  It truly doesn’t matter what the reason may be.  Trust that their love is there.

Love and appreciate that child in spite of what you see or think or feel.  Just keep showing that love; let God and the child do the work.  Just relax, and love.  All the time.

Because we build our lives on the moments as we live them, I believe God helps us be resilient, not only as children, but as adults, to overcome feelings of inadequacy. 

It’s up to us to accept the fact that we’re imperfect, and go forward.  We all fall short at times, in one way or another.

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I’m very thankful for my three blessings in the form of my children.  I loved staying up and making the cakes beautiful… or delicious… or both.  And they enjoyed their cakes.  It was a pain doing some things—like staying up late helping put toy-stuff together.  But all of it was a blessing.

When my son was very small, he gave me a little clear plastic medicine bottle with grass in it; his grandma had bought a small gold bee, and there it was, caught in that little medicine container to give to me in its grassy nest. I cherish that memory; I don’t think he remembers it, but that’s ok.

Then when he was older, I spanked him and for doing something he shouldn’t have—I can’t remember what; he kept saying he didn’t do it… Not much later it was clear his sister had been the culprit.  I just told him it made up for all the times he hadn’t been caught.  We all got a laugh from it (thankfully).

He wore glasses when he was young, and we absolutely could not keep him in them.  We got a pair of unbreakable ones once; he rode a sled down the snowy hill at our house, hit a tree, and half of that pair of glasses we never even found. 

The joys of motherhood!

Some of those things didn’t feel like blessings at the time.  But they were.

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My three special blessings have taught me things in my life.  A LOT of things, actually.  Here is a small sample:

My son’s experiences taught me you don’t have to make good grades to be successful…or happy.  Too bad I didn’t learn that earlier… before constantly pressuring him to make good grades. 

And I didn’t realize at that time, you don’t have to “behave” every minute.  I thought you had to.  I didn’t realize I could actually relax, and have fun.  I was a slow learner!  If I had let him, he could have taught me a lot about having fun.  Well, probably more than I could handle!

But the good thing was, he learned to be resilient… and love me anyway!

My middle child taught me how strong a young person with a strong constitution can be.  Still, Quiet and Strong.  During heart-breaking times, she taught me you could still be strong, and keep stepping up. 

          She also showed us all that she could be sooo nice … (She shared a bedroom with her brother)… at night, she would sweetly sing so softly, while knowing she was totally aggravating her brother to no end.

          Like, how do you demand that sweet singing to stop?! 

She also taught me that “lists” can help you be organized.  She taught me I could actually “go shopping”, even without a lot of money.  She also taught me I could soften my heart a little, in general.

My youngest taught me I could be gentle, regardless of how my own heart feels, and in spite of how my life is at the time.  (Those lessons were not easy, nor quick for me.)  She taught me to be quiet… to quit asking questions… and listen for those feelings… because the words may never come. 

Over the years I actually learned to learn by not asking those questions… as I paid close attention to everything else besides the words.

Too bad I didn’t learn that when she was still small, as she was showing me her soft heart constantly… and talking to me about it.  What a blessing those times were.  That time slipped by, in the rush of life… in the busy-ness of “work”… in the hurt of divorce. 

Time went on; life went on, and this is a different time.  We all somehow became stronger.  The soft hearts are very much still there… just not so visible.

They all three still help me learn to have fun; and gradually, I think I’m beginning to catch on.

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What I wanted for my children (right or wrong) was not for them to be my friend (I never actually thought of that)… and not for them to get everything they wanted.  Our world didn’t revolve around them.  They weren’t “catered-to”; they weren’t favored over others in the family. 

They revolved with the rest of the family, unless there was a special event, or special need of some kind.  I didn’t try to “make them happy”. 

Too strict?  Possibly.  Today (again, if I was going back) I would be a little more relaxed on the strictness. 

My strong goal for all three of my children was that they would be responsible, productive adults.  Looking back, there was a lot I left out of that vision.  But we can’t look back, and our lives are what they are today.

So was that goal reached?  Yes, very much so.  Not only are they responsible and productive, they each have raised their children to be the same.

Does that mean grades were good?  Not.

Does it mean life was smooth?  Definitely not.

Does it mean they did excellent at things they did? Well, sometimes.  But not usually.  Just to me.  And it would have been so much better if I had let them know that.

I’ve always said, the good in my children is in spite of me, not because of me.  God made the difference.

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We do have one great example of a mother who was truly blessed. 

Mary, the mother of Jesus is a great example. She gave birth to her son, watched him grow and learn, watched his ministry, and watched his death. 

She stayed constant through it all. Even when the disciples denied him and ran to hide, Jesus’ mom remained.  She believed still that God had the best of plans for her son.

And I believe God has exact plans for each of our children. 

My prayer is that we can be flexible enough to allow God to use them the way HE plans, and that we can teach our children that flexibility, so they also can become the clay in the Potter’s hands.

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If you don’t have children, think of someone; and think of a way to make their life better TODAY…

Show someone they’re special.

Reach out and be that blessing to a friend… or to a child.

Thank you for reading;

And… Remember the good of your mother, or of a person who influenced your young life.  And be Thankful.

And Enjoy Mother’s Day in the best way you can imagine!

Sharon

P. S.

Oh, and in case you ever thought you were not a “worthy” mother, do you realize that in the book of Matthew in the Bible, in his account of the genealogy of Jesus, Matthew didn’t mention several notable women of the Bible, like Sarah, or Eve, etc.  

But he did mention in this honorable lineage, 

Tamar, who had sex with her father-in-law, and 

Rahab (protected the Israelite spies) who was a prostitute, and 

Bathsheba who had an affair with King David.

So, don’t worry about being “worthy”.  Just ask God to be with you and guide you.  He will.