Family Connection... Does it make a difference?

How can that even be measured?

Labor Day weekend, for the past 7 years, has been reunion time for my siblings and our children.

At my mother’s funeral 8 years ago, the young cousins (young adults) decided they didn’t know each other very well, and that they needed to get together more.  They decided to plan a reunion for the next year, and they wanted to enough to actually plan it and follow through with it.

Ever since, it seems like everyone looks forward to it, young and not as young.

After I got back home this year, and even on the way home, I felt encouraged, and energized, and looking forward to life as if there was something new in the air.

I wondered why.  I couldn’t put my finger on anything that was different.

But as I thought back over the reunion, recalling all the thoughts, and experiences of the weekend, it occurred to me that I had a lot of conversations with the younger cousins.  I listened to their conversations with each other, about exactly what was going on in their lives.

I entered into some of their conversations, curious to know things a little deeper.  They seemed interested in sharing with me, and in listening to my thoughts.  It seems like those conversations are what gave me the “shot in the arm” for new ideas and of new life.

As their minds and lives seem to be digging up new ground, and new ideas, they were also deeply grounded in our family’s history, and as we auctioned items that had belonged to “Grammy and Grandad” or the things that were related to our family’s history, they bid just as high as their parents, to win the bids.

I learned about their courage to reach farther than they could see. 

The one starting college, years after high school graduation, overcoming almost insurmountable obstacles, working during the prior years, and being able to buy a house, and to pay for new teeth for himself, and now reaching for an engineering degree.  Wow.

Then I saw the courage of one young couple to reach for applying for work a couple of states away from their home, and feeling the confidence in the possibility of both being hired for the jobs they wanted.

I learned some about the depths of new research in psychology—which I was very much interested in, and we were able to share what we had learned, from different angles.  So Awesome!

I was able to read a paper written by one of our youth who is attending law school, which he wrote for the purpose of getting a law changed.  It was mind-blowing, and I am anxious to see the results.

Then there was the young one who crocheted an item, and also made cookies from scratch for their auction items.  And showed us how to make a “s’mores cake” in cast iron, over a camp fire.

There was the mother (of 7) with an invalid child, who obviously enjoyed her family’s participation in the reunion, while she showed patience and love beyond what I could comprehend.

And the courageous young lady who took as many as wanted to go, on a “night hike” with small red flashlights.  Now, this is in the mountain woods.  I didn’t go, but it was a great and fun experience for the several who went.

There was the couple who are expanding their health habits and regularly bicycling even in different parts of the state.

There were the two or three with health issues that courageously attended the reunion anyway, with open hearts (and Tylenol), and they enjoyed the visiting and connection with family.

There was the discussion with the one who is courageously buying property for re-sale, and learning first-hand about all the snags and pitfalls, patiently overcoming one issue at a time.

These young people were up for all the games and activities our group put together, but their interest wasn’t just in those. 

The state park we were visiting, put on sessions of knot-tying, snake education, and smart phone photography, and other events; they gave a tour of the several-level “wonder house”; and these young people were interested in everything.

I know they did not agree 100% with everything that everyone did and said.  But their patience with, and tolerance of each other was uplifting to see.  They joked and teased (in some cases somewhat mercilessly), made fun of each other and laughed at each other.  But that cousin-love gave it the finishing touch.

I do not mean in any way to imply we are the perfect example of “family”.  We have broken families, blended families, single families, and all kinds of different attitudes and frames of thought.  We’ve even added a stray or three and called them Family.

My focus this year seemed to land on the theme of mental and emotional growth of so many who attended.

I’ve been with these same people year after year.  But this year, I think I was in just the right places, at just the right times, to be involved in conversations with these young people.  And I consider it a valuable blessing to have been able to experience getting to spend more time with these youth.

Probably the example-setters were the planners and chefs.  They were camped, 4 campers in a row, with the grill set up, the food ready to cook, and with everything organized to have meals on time (so the activities would be on time), and yet giving off a relaxed-vibe for everyone.  Not even acting like they were carrying the lion’s share of the weight.

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I have learned through being a health coach, that lack of relationships can be more devastating to your health than being a chain smoker.

My mission with this post is to allow you to peek into one extended family for one weekend, to see how relationships can open up and flourish.  I’m looking forward to extending those relationships as soon as we can get together again.

It’s good for your health; as a matter of fact, your health will be much more likely to be nourished with good relationships, especially with people close to you.  It’s truly now scientifically proven, according to Dr. Mark Hyman.

If you have trouble “getting close”, I would suggest the following:

1.     Care about the person (people) you want to talk with;

2.     Greet that person (people);

3.     Ask about something that’s going on in their life.

4.     Listen.

That should do it.

If they don’t want to carry on a conversation, no worries.  That’s ok.  Go on to the next person.  And Love each one.

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So, can we measure the results of family connection?  I’d like to believe I saw the measurement of it this weekend.

And I just happen to believe that building strong relationships with young people causes you to feel more encouraged about your life.

And, if you want to experience more encouragement in your life, you might give it a try.  Set out to care for people.  Then determine to communicate with them.  I think you’ll be amazed at the blessings you get.

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Does family connection cause everyone to agree?  No.  And through these disagreements, we have the opportunity to learn resilience in our behavior.

And I’m here to tell you, the results of family connection go a long way toward the construction of strong, loving adults (even though they may not always like to show it) with growing character.

The Best for your family relationships—even if you have to build from scratch!

Thank you for reading.  If I can help you in any way, contact me.

Sharon

P.S.

(And even though this is about my experiences with these younger people this past weekend, it does not mean to include just younger people.  Actually, older humans probably appreciate your care much more, may just give you more of an example, and more knowledge.  They also might return your love more readily.)

1 Timothy 2:1-15

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people…, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.

This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.