How much does our social life affect our every-day life?

Ever heard, “I’m fine, just me.  I don’t like being sociable.”

Do we have to enjoy being “sociable” to have friends?

Do we enjoy being alone, and just staying out of people’s way?

There’s  actually a lot to be said for being comfortable being by ourselves.  It’s a Plus to be satisfied with your own company.  But what about other people?

We were meant to connect with people.  We’re meant, on occasion, to be able to lean on others, and for them to lean on us.  We’re meant to share ourselves with others.

Have you ever talked on the phone with someone, and when you began talking to them they talked with a low voice, and didn’t seem to show any energy or enthusiasm…then after you talked awhile, their voice was stronger, and they acted “more alive”?

This has happened to me so many times, and it always makes me feel good.

It might be easy to let the start of that conversation to bring you down, and you might not enjoy talking with someone that’s discouraged, so you might even cut the conversation short. 

But if you put your heart out there, and give some extra effort, you might be just what they needed to bring themselves up from a low place.  It’s a great feeling when that happens.

In these days we’re living in, there are a lot of people down in the mulligrubs.  I know some of them have good reason to feel down, angry, left out, or any number of other negative reasons.  And some of them don’t have a reason (well, that I can see); and some have just let themselves get in the habit, from back when they actually did “have a reason” to be discouraged.

It doesn’t matter, does it, how or why someone is “down”.  We’ve all been there ourselves, for one reason or another.  Seems like our human nature guides us toward it sometimes.

If we can help a person now and then by befriending them, in any way, I think it’s good for our soul (and theirs).  It’s also good for our health (and theirs).

The Bible says in one place (II Corinthians 1:3-4) God comforts us so we can comfort others—that’s where our power comes from to be able to do that.

In Hebrews 10:24 the Bible tells us to think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

In Ephesians 4:29, the Bible says to only speak what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that they may benefit.  That’s a pretty tall order.

My point is, we need each other, and we were made to be together in this world.  It benefits all of us.

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When I was very young, I had a good friend.  She drifted in a different direction, and we lost touch.

When I was a pre-teen, I had a very good friend.  We had lots of fun together, and shared our experiences with each other, and I loved her.  She loved me too, but when she visited relatives in another city in the summertime, she too began to go in a different direction from me, and she finally moved close to them, and chose a different lifestyle.

It wasn’t easy for me to make friends, and I so very much hated for her to leave.  So now, two childhood friends, each gone away.

When I moved from a “country school”  to “the big school in town”, I was separated from my friends in my “country school”.  I did make some friends that first year (7th grade), and made it pretty well through that year.  The next year I was separated from ALL the friends I had made.  I was terrified.

My friends suggested I ask the principal to change my schedule so I could be with them.  I was very shy, not wanting to talk to anyone.  But I somehow worked up enough courage to go to the school office (which I had never done) and actually ask to see the principal. 

That was a very tall order for me at that time.

I asked him if he’d change my schedule.  He asked me why.  I said because I didn’t have any of my friends in any of my classes.  His answer (in the very deepest voice) probably had the purpose to make me stronger, but it was devastating to me: “Well, I think it’s time you made new friends.”

I guess I had used all my friend-making energy the year before, and I never made any other friends the rest of my time in school.  I was “friendly”, but I only kept one close friend from my 7th grade class.  We don’t see each other a lot, nor spend much time together, but we’re still friends today.  The rest still stayed my friends, but never very close. 

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The point of that story is to say a couple of things.

1.     We never know how our words will land.  (I would have appreciated a little more kindness from my principal in the 8th grade.  But life goes on the way it does, and we grow (or we don’t)—it’s our choice.  Even as children, we’re responsible.)

2.     We don’t know what people around us are going through.  They truly may need a friend.  No one knew how lonely and inferior I felt.  No one.  I carried those feelings through the entire balance of my time in school.

3.     Main Point:  Don’t let disappointing experiences with people take over your life… your feelings… your determination… your desires or goals for your life!  WE HAVE MORE POWER THAN THAT—WITHIN US! 

What did I miss out on?

●       Learning that I COULD make new friends;

●       Enjoying my school days instead of being “afraid” of everyone—students and teachers alike.

●       Actually Learning in my classes—which I just never got into—had no interest in actually learning.

●       I would have had a more relaxed childhood.  But I didn’t.  I was stressed over “people” the whole time—over how I didn’t measure up.

My main Message today is, NOT to be afraid of people.  Regardless of what. 

They don’t KNOW you think they’re better than you.

They think you’re pretty OK!  So, BE THAT!!

Be who you Really Are… Then they’ll love “The Real You”.

I’ve spent most of my life making myself speak to people.  I always enjoyed talking to them though, once I got started.

If you have this problem, my advice is, Make Yourself come out of your shell.  If you keep opening up to people, and keep caring about them, eventually it’ll be easier for you.  And you’ll learn to love it.

It took me a LOT of years.

But eventually I have come to know how important people are… to our well-being.  AND how important WE are, to them.

You don’t have to introduce yourself to them, and ask them about themselves, and go into a long conversation.

Most people WANT to talk, they just don’t know how… but it’s easier for them to talk when someone speaks to them.  So…

Just Smile.  Just say hello.  You actually CAN mention the weather.  If you see something about them that stands out, or something that makes you curious, and if you feel comfortable mentioning it, say that.  It almost always ends up in a good conversation.  But if it doesn’t, that’s ok too!

(When you make a new friend, cultivate that friendship.  Spend time, and care… it’s worth it.  Really.)

And the people that you’re surrounded with day-to-day—at work, or anywhere you are, consider giving them special treatment.  Not just what might be expected, but little special things.  No money is necessary—just some thoughtful things.  Open your heart to them, and things will come to your mind.

It seems like everyone is so busy…I mean, it’s been that way a LONG TIME!  But since Covid, I think people got used to shying away from others, and I think they’re wanting to connect.  I think most people will appreciate the gesture you make to allow their lives into your space.

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And I have finally gotten to the point, myself, that my mission in my heart is to help people understand how they can have a better-feeling life.  It actually gives a really solid feeling of freedom to be at this point.

I think my heart finally took over, and nudges me to speak to people in caring ways.  When your heart takes over, you forget to be afraid.  You forget to worry about what someone will think.  You just want to help them lift themselves up—no judgment.  It’s the very best spot to be!

We’re always going to be misunderstood, for any kind of reason.  I misunderstood my principal back in 8th grade.  I know that he was a good man.  I felt like his words paralyzed me…so they did.

But we can’t continuously worry, being afraid to speak because we might offend someone.  You just have to let your Higher Power guide you, and step forward.

Being Social, Having Friends, can boost your energy, can give you peace, give you strength, give you confidence, can help you feel more secure.  It is also being discovered in new research that it boosts immunity and helps you live longer.

So.  Reach out.  I believe you’ll be blessed.  You might even make some new friends.

Thank you for reading.  If I can help you in any way at all, please contact me.

Sharon

P.S.

I’m going to be at a Family Reunion this weekend, and I’ll get to enjoy family that I don’t usually get to be around.  It is a wonderful treat, every year at this time.  It’s really good to appreciate these times.  (And I appreciate the young ones who plan it!)

Back Story: My mom loved being social and friendly.  And she loved celebrating.  Every birthday of Everyone.  She’d cook a meal for everyone.  She’d bake their favorite cake.  And, Come one, Come all.  And every holiday got celebrated that way.

When mom passed away a few years ago, the cousins decided they didn’t get to see each other enough, so they decided we needed to have an annual reunion. 

Since that time, we’ve met every year, and if Mom could have imagined that, she would have been doing it herself!