Courage and Bravery

Being raised in the country a few miles from a small rural southern town, at the end of a dead-end road on top of a small mountain, by a caring mom and a Navy-retired Chief Petty Officer dad. Of course my dad was very strict. We kids (4 daughters) were taught to work hard.

We were taught to “be a good person”; taught to be honest; to be nice to people. We were taught to do a job right—the first time. Our dad thought outside the box, himself, a lot. He had his own ideas on how to fix things, and he could fix just about anything.

We weren’t actually taught how to think independently like that. We were taught to “do as we’re told” which I believe works against thinking for yourself. I was always a “pleaser”, and I didn’t go against the grain—with friends, at school, on the school bus (where we spent an hour together in the morning and again in the evening) or anywhere else.

I skimmed my way through school; made book reports without reading the books—things like that. I passed with mostly C’s. I graduated.

When I went to business school in Little Rock—after never having been away from home much at all, I found myself unable to communicate with people. I just didn’t know how to carry on conversations with people I didn’t know. It’s not the way to be. You lose a lot, not communicating.

I graduated from business school, and came home to actually begin living life for real—getting a job! Because I just wasn’t up for living in the city! I worked for a factory in their office—payroll and shipping.

Later I had been ill, hospitalized and off work for a few months and was recovering. Unemployed. I applied for a secretarial job at a bank. The bank called me for an interview. I went to be interviewed. The job was for a secretary in the center of a huge, open bank lobby. To greet and assist customers. Woah!

As bad as I needed a job, I turned them down. I could not sit there in the absolute center of the floor with nothing and no one around me—for the purpose of talking with people I did not know.

A couple weeks later, they called again. They reminded me I was trained for that! I declined again.

I really needed a job.

The next time they called, I accepted. And, I had to learn to talk to people. What a Blessing! And I almost missed it! I definitely was NOT brave. Until I HAD to be.

Over the years, I made that position mine, and expanded it to Secretary to the President as well. I worked in that position for 17 years, seeing 5 bank presidents come and go.

I left to work at a real estate company as secretary. Additionally, I got my license. Then I got my Broker’s license. Next, I was in charge of running the office. You think I was learning to talk to people?

Conditions became bad in the office, and it was time to leave. I received an offer to manage a small independent real estate office owned by someone owning, but not active in the office. I would be totally in charge.

It didn’t take long for my next opportunity: to buy out the company. My husband and I decided the wisest decision was to buy rather than start out on our own, or get into another line of work.

My husband was a cattleman. He came off the farm—knew nothing about real estate. Neither of us knew anything about owning a business, managing agents, or increasing business in a real estate company. I DID have the experience running and coordinating an office. That was it.

Were we courageous? We didn’t mean to be; it was the least bad of two decisions we weren’t crazy about.

Our little office when we started was the smallest in town. 18 listings. 4-5 agents and they didn’t really care to work, some of them part time. I had no idea how to train agents.

I went to every Realtor convention and training I could find. I learned everything I could. I increased agents, with Really Good People. But I soon learned … these were good people, yes. But they didn’t really want to Work! I had to learn a lot.

Did we bite off a big chunk? Courageous? Yes, but we didn’t mean to.

We eventually got working agents who encouraged themselves to work. We set our sights on being Number 1 in town.

This was the agents’ idea…I would not have thought of it. They thought we could do it. We did it in 2008, the same year we moved into a new building. (Kept that status until we sold in 2021, and I understand they’re still there)

One of the main stressors to me was not knowing how to make some of the decisions. These hard working agents were smart. I decided we’d just make these decisions together. So that’s what we did.

We’d discuss it in our weekly meetings, positive, negative, and any other way we could think to dissect it, and we’d make the decisions together. It gave them ownership of the decision, so it had support overall. Almost 100% of our decisions were unanimous.

So, you can’t have a business for 20+ years and not be courageous. But I never felt I had courage. I just kept moving forward.

Then when I had health issues no doctor was eliminating—or even improving, I found Functional Medicine and discovered I must set my sights on good health to get well. I did that. I had practiced going forward toward what I wanted for a long time.

I made the changes all at once, so I could get well. You can make changes slowly—it’s easier to do. But if you make them all at once, you can pretty quickly watch the changes your body makes.

I was able to be patient, I was able to keep moving forward regardless of what I’d rather do, and I was able to heal.

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My purpose in this story is to say, you don’t have to be aggressively courageous. I never was aggressive. I do not feel I even know how to be aggressive. I do know how to hold my ground, and that’s important. I think my dad did teach me that. Except he called it being stubborn.

When you work with the public, I believe you have to be adept at “holding your ground” — (or being stubborn).

I think the main thing is to know where you want to go. And know if you really want to go there.

If you truly want to go in that direction, you can be courageous, because you have a real purpose.

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This is what I wanted: A job where I could enjoy and help people, and make a good wage. I didn’t want a company like I’d had. I wanted to GROW. I wanted to be better at what I did.

After that, I think God put these opportunities in front of me. They were not anything I felt right off that I could do. But I talked to myself to convince myself that I could do it.

And so I did those things. I stepped up to the challenges as they came. Because it led to what I wanted. I never did try to figure out HOW to get what I wanted. I only knew I wanted it. And I did pray for it.

Then after reading over those real estate contracts from all the agents, all those years, I was ready to work less. I spent my thinking all the time, how I could set up the office so it would run smoothly. It was my main goal. Whether I was there or not. I reached that goal, and we sold the business.

Then there were new challenges: speaking to groups about their health. This was never anything I wanted. But I did want to help people with their health. I did my first one. I only invited my friends, who probably came just to show me support.

But one by one, I’ve been doing them now since about 2021. I was a guest on a podcast. Another brave thing I had to do to increase my people. I’m doing it. One step at a time. Sometimes it takes more bravery than I have. But I do it. And I’ve come a long way—especially from not talking to people at all.

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All of this to say, I never had courage, or even any confidence. But if you put yourself out there for what you want, you can get there. You will get there.

And it’s not always a quick journey. In my case it took a few years. But think about it… if you don’t move forward you’ll never grow toward what you want. So just keep moving forward.

And when things get bad, and you don’t want to put up with it, just throw those thoughts to the side. Be patient. Keep moving forward.

So if you want to make changes to your life, what do you want?

Do you want to be healthier? Stronger? More calm? Better sleep?

I can say, if you’re trying to make changes in your health, you are definitely already showing your courage.

Do you have the idea of what you want? Do you have the guts to put yourself out there? There… you’re on your way! Next is just be patient and determined. You’re already taking off on your journey!

Truly. Decide Exactly what you want. That’s probably the only way you’ll get there. My #1 hint is, to ask God for help. I believe that’s where all my courage-times came from.

You can do it. But you do need to know what you want. And you do need to move forward. And I think it will work a lot better if you ask for help.

If I can help you with your courage, or with being healthier, stronger, more calm, or any of the things, I am truly waiting for you to ask for help.

Or even if you’d like help trying to figure out your original idea of what you want. Let’s talk about it.

Thank you for reading.

Sharon

Courage & Bravery

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